


Loving You Is Easy

by Witzelsucht



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) RPF
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Breif Erik/Raven, Charles is a bit of a wreck, Drug Abuse, Erik is a hopeless romantic, Fluff, Hurt, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, lots of i love yous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-10-25 07:29:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10759593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Witzelsucht/pseuds/Witzelsucht
Summary: Looking back on it now Charles knew he wouldn’t be able to pinpoint the exact moment he felt in love with Erik Lehnsherr, it was a budding warmth, something that was always there, so big it nearly suffocated him when the man finally realized. Their relationship had always been some sick twist of chemistry and good intentions, but even with that it always ended up wrong.A tweaked retelling of the first two movies, how they fell in love, and how things changed at the end of days of future past and brought them together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this IS my first fanfiction, so, any comments or recommendations would be amazing. This story WILL be a retelling of the first two movies, but with my own flair and plot thrown into the mix. ;)
> 
> This is the beginning of part one, which will cover all of the first movie, part two will start with days of future past, and so on. If I had to guess I would say there's going to be around four parts.

**PART 1**

 

Looking back on it now Charles knew he wouldn’t be able to pinpoint the exact moment he felt in love with Erik Lehnsherr, it was a budding warmth, something that was always there, so big it nearly suffocated him when he finally realized. Their relationship had always been some sick twist of chemistry and good intentions, but even with that it always ended up wrong. Erik, he was _sure,_ would be able to say the exact moment he fell in love down to the finest detail, if Charles caught him at the right moment, in the very least. All calculation and memory, sharp and passionate, what Charles was wearing, the way the sunlight hit his hair... 

The other man being in love with him wasn’t something he could ever doubt, not ever in all those years. 

Sadly, betrayal with them came, not as easily as love... But just as often. 

The telepath had been pulled to the damaged mind ever since he’d first picked up on it, and he was sure, if he could go back even now, he still wouldn’t have hesitated in pulling that man out of those icy depths where they had first met.

And all of it started because of a monster named Sebastian Shaw.

* * *

 

It was already late at night when Charles and Erik finally had a moment of rest. Earlier this morning they had been running back and forth from their hotel to the prison where they would be meeting with an Alex Summers the professor had found in cerebro only the day before. All and all the man had _hoped_ , along with the plane ride and everything else, he would’ve been able to rest easy once they finally settled back in the hotel room later in the afternoon, but damn it, he didn’t have any luck.

_“Raven, this is Angel, please, take care of her until I get back, alright?”_

_“She’s another one? Just like us?” The young latina had asked, eyes staring at the blond skeptically from between the two men who had plucked her out of the dance club only the day before, and the woman across from her was all smiles and held out her hand, warmth leaking through the contact between the two._

_“Hi, I’m Raven, lemme show you around.”_

Charles originally hadn’t intended on leaving his sister alone, but she was all gushy and having her fill playing with dorky young scientist they had found upon arriving at their new base of operations. So, it was easy for him to swept away by the mysterious mutant he’d only met a few days prior, and start their bizarre scavenger hunt for comrades who would be _willing_ to try and take down a monster like Shaw.

For tonight, though, he let Erik convince him to _relax._

His entire life Charles Xavier had found himself in lost in others minds too easy, too absorbed in the study of where he and Raven belonged to find company that would last longer than a one night stand. With such a bad track record, it was hard to believe that, here he was, sprawled awkwardly across a queen size mattress all creaks and decade old sheets, cradling a glass of whiskey against his chest, tipsy in some cheap motel laying out with a man whom he’d only met less than two weeks prior, playing _chess_.

“Now, not to toot my own horn, but are you _sure_ you didn’t go and switch any of the pieces while I wasn’t looking?” Charles was losing, _bad,_ and both of them knew it. He could tell from the cheeky expression forming on his partners face.

This whiskey was strong, he could tell by how easily he found himself stretching out along the bed, cradling the alcohol against his chest as he curled his toes against the ancient headboard where his feet rest. There Erik was, only a couple feet away, hair unkempt on his head and shirt tossed lazily on a heap on the floor from, earlier, when he decided he had a few too many fingers of liquor to bother with a shirt.

The telepath, himself, was not yet so brave.

The young brunette wouldn’t like to think he was being sour, but the magnetic mutant across from him didn’t _really_ have to look so serious in a game as cut and dry as this one, and, it was only a few more moves in silence before a too-cheeky little grin found its way across the other mutants face. The assault was rude, Eriks bishop raising too high and smacking down Charles’ king in a disgraceful display of defeat.

“I believe that’s checkmate.”

“Are you always this polite of a winner? You could have some decency after a slaughter like that.”

The mutual grins between the men were kind, and he could tell Erik was the farthest away from sorry he could get, so, moving up, and feeling a swell of pride as the bed tipped and scattered the pieces in a messy display across the floral duvet, he finish the last of his drink and let his empty glass settle beside Eriks own.

Even through the fuzzy haze of alcohol the telepath was well aware it was too late for another game, they had an appointment to be back at the prison at a lousy eight in the morning, but as his eyes roamed over and settled on the growingly familiar sight of the other brunette gathering the pieces into his maroon carrying case… He found sleep growingly unfavorable.

The other mutant was already moving back from putting the board and pieces back into his overnight bag when Charles spoke again.

“We should be in bed.” Not that the other wasn’t already aware.

“ _Weren’t we_ ?” The shiver that went down his spine was anything but appropriate, and he quickly turned his eyes away from the taller mutants gaze and the toothy grin that _screamed_ his intention to play with the man.

_Damn alcohol, just because I hadn’t had a drop since all this started..._

Flirtation was found all too easily with the other man across the room, and Charles hated himself for playing into the others hand so easily when it came up. Not that he hadn’t be guilty of starting it a few times himself in the past few days when they’d been practically connected at the hip. 

His forehead pressed into his palms, fingers threading through his hair. He needed to pull himself together, “That’s not what I meant and you _know_ it. God, Erik, what time is it?” A quick glance to the clock on the table answered his question, and he tried not to sigh. “We have to be at the prison in _eight_ hours.”

Feeling the other man brush past his knees as he made his way to his bed, he felt the other settle adjacent, knees nearly brushing in the small space between the two beds.

“And how do I know this isn’t a ploy to leave me there?” The joke was light, and Charles finally settled his eyes back on the other as he let a weak smile gather itself on his face.

“You know as well as I do they wouldn’t be able to keep you.”

Seemingly content, Erik let the conversation drop. Settling down onto their separate beds, Charles tried to ignore the way it creaked, or how stiff the sheets felt on his skin. It was too damn hot for the blanket, but it stayed on all the same as he focused his crystal blue eyes onto the ceiling and damned himself as he started to tread into thoughts he’d rather ignore. The feeling of recruiting children, Raven, into fighting a man who was as dangerous as Shaw weighed down on his consciousness.

But here he was, traveling with a man he hardly knew, even still.

Speaking of Erik, he couldn’t ignore the fact that Shaw wasn’t the only potential threat. The other mutant was charismatic, charming, although the darkness he was when Charles peeked into his mind was… Hard to ignore.

If not for the Erik in the water shredding the dangerous mutants yacht in pieces, making Shaw flee his ship, he wasn’t sure how they would’ve gotten out alive. With him and Raven being the only mutants on board, surely if Shaw had decided to fight back they would've been blow out of the water. The two of them saved each other, in some sort of right.

And how close he was to leaving the other to die if he hadn’t sensed him below.

When he had finally made the connection to the other man's mind, it felt like his brain was on fire. Touching a mind so full of rage and desperation, unlike anything the telepath had ever felt. But that wasn’t all that was there, under all of that raw emotion, was the clear picture of a boy crying for his mother. An angry child who was forced to watch his mother _shot down like a dog_ by that monster Shaw.

He knew the anger wasn’t his own, but his legs moved themselves to the dock by themselves regardless, and, _God_ , that man was going to die wasn’t he?

The impact against the water made his body sting, but by adrenaline alone he was able to dive under the water, and by some miracle grab on to the strong arms reaching out.

_“Erik.”_ He started, reaching into that whirlwind of a mind. _“You’re going to drown, I know what this means to you, but you’re going to die.”_

The raw emotion nearly had him flee from the passionate response, but, slowly there was realization, and acceptance. Taking his opportunity, he grabbed the other man and pulled. Kicking and _pulling_ until they reached the water's surface and he could finally look at the face of the man whose mind he’d buried himself in.

Though, instead of being met with rage, it was confusion. Those eyes meeting his own with and softening with understanding and so until the rampaging rage he’d felt before.

“I… thought I was alone.” Their voices were wrecked by the water, air being sucked into their eager lunges, but there they floated, clinging onto each other so not to drift away.

A flash back to the child he’d seen in the others minds eye brought a flush of warmth to his core, and despite the calls from above and panicked hollers as they threw a rope down to the water below, he let himself speak, and a phantom of a smile gather on his lips.

“ _You’re not alone,_ my friend. You’re not alone”


	2. Chapter 2

“Charles.”

Hurried footsteps echoed down the long hallway, the telepath was sure the taller man could easily catch him with those stupid long legs, but he apparently had enough decency to let the brunette fume in peace, staying still a few paces behind. When he and Erik arrived back, he didn’t expect his sister to be standing in the rubble of what once was the pristine government courtyard, giggling like a damn fool.

_“You should be professor X, and you can be Magneto.”_

 "Charles, _wait_.”

Footsteps slowly slowed, the easy silence of the night washing over them. He knew he was overreacting, but even still without a decent night sleep in weeks and the weight of everything else on his shoulders…

Sucking in a breath, he spoke. “Honestly, what am I even doing all this for, Erik? What could I possibly expect, they're only _children_ for fucks sake.” He wasn’t moving, those crystal blue eyes kept focused on the ground instead of making eye contact with the man whose gaze he could feel on his back. He could still see Ravens face in his mind's eye and he tried hard to ignore the lick of guilt spreading through his brain.

_What the hell had she been thinking?_

“We need to guide them, they can't do anything stuck in their little glass cage all day. You _know_ that, I know that.” And, naturally, Charles _did,_ but how the hell was he supposed to teach these young people how to do anything when _he_ didn’t even know what the hell he was doing?

“Guide them into becoming killers? You know I…”

_Don’t want to._

What gave him the right to take these young people from their homes and take them into this sort of situation?

There was a long uneasy silence then, and he could practically hear the sound of Eriks brain ticking away, the bubbling frustration rolling off the mutant and buzzing against the side of Charles’ telepathy. Killing was becoming second nature to the man behind him, violence was the easy way of getting what you wanted… And as much and Charles wanted to dislike the other for it… He couldn’t, not after what he knew.

There was a warmth at his back then, strong fingers were suddenly digging into his sweater and he felt his body spin, the smaller man now faced with those dangerous, crystal blue eyes. “A life where they have to hide is, _nothing_. We’re giving them freedom..” The other brunettes voice was low like a growl, the fire of irritation bright behind his eyes. There was a quiver in the air, the buckle of his belt trembling ever so slightly, and he had to remind himself again just how dangerous the man in front of him was. “If you weren’t serious to begin with then…”

“Erik, I didn’t mean....”

“...Then you shouldn’t have even…”

“ _Please,_ my friend, hear me out.” Oddly enough the little outburst helped the telepaths heart settle, just a little, and he let his hand move up to rest on the others whitening knuckles. “Shaw must be stopped, I know that… But... “ Blue eyes broke away from the others softening gaze. “I just wish the situation was different is all.”

There was a long silence then, the vice grip on his shoulders loosening bit by bit, until he felt those hand slip down and rest at the others side. Eye contact came easily again, the other's expression nearly unreadable as the telepath spoke once more. “Thank you. I’m alright now.” Fingers twitched out, brushing the limp hand at the others side, and suddenly the other man's eyes lit back up, but… Only for a moment before he was slipping away, making away and leaving the defeated telepath behind in the hall.

* * *

 

“The American government will give us entrance into Russia tomorrow morning, where we will be escorted by truck. However, once we are in Russian borders, we’re well on our own.” Morias hair was tucked neatly behind her ear, eyes buried in the file in hand. “Are you sure you can pull this off, Charles?”

Seated in a smaller conference room, the man tried hard to ignore just how heavy his head felt and how close the yawn bubbling up in his chest was to breaking out. This meeting was unnecessarily early, and ever since the other mutant had walked off the night before he’d been filled with a terrible sense of unease.

“I’ll try my best.”

The morning sun was still low in the sky, filtering in through thin curtains, in the next twenty-four hours they’d be hopping on a plane to Russia, but the realization that he might be able to get even just a few extra hours of shut eye made relief wash through his stiff shoulders.

“And intel says Shaw is going to be there?” The third voice perked up, Erik speaking for the first time since the meeting started, and he looked even worse than Charles, shoulders sagging from exhaustion and eye bags standing proud.

“That’s what we were told. But I want to remind you this is just information gathering, we should by no means try for any sort of attack that could be seen at a potential threat.” 

Even without using his mind powers, knowing Erik, Charles realized how much the woman across from them was asking. Putting the other man anywhere near Shaw and expected him not to attack was asking a bird not to sing, that touch of desperation he felt from when they first met ringing in the back of his skull.

“That won't be a problem.”  Charles knew, that if it came down to it he could too easily take control of his friends mind. Although, that didn’t make the potential of this man becoming berserk anymore flattering, and while it was said to try and damped Morias anxiety, it seemed she was more clever a woman than the telepath gave credit.

Despite the telepaths quick reassurance, the woman's steady eyes didn’t leave the magnetic mutant at the man's side and, crystal blue eyes finally let his own gaze carry over to the uncertain expression on his partners face.

Potential or not, he didn’t like the feeling going in his gut when he put this man in the hot seat, one careful hand let itself slide onto the man's knee, giving a subtle squeeze and opening his mouth to defend, just once more, until he could see the others eyes flare in a burst of irritation and lips part.

“Information gathering? Alright.” The chair scraped across the floor, and the man was on his feet. “If that’s everything, I’m leaving.” And he was gone in a huff, walking out the door and into the hall before Charles could stop him.

It was only a few second before the woman spoke again, her eyes finding their way back to the man still here, expression soft and fond. “Will he be alright?”

“I’ll make sure of it.”

* * *

 

The day following the meeting was shockingly dull in contrast to the past few weeks of constant travel and _very_ little alone time. As much as he’d love to settle down and get a good wank in, he figured he’d rather die than have anyone walk in on him getting down and dirty at noon, so, instead he found his way over to the sparse book selection he had chosen to bring from his home's expansive library.

He only got about an hour into his book before the image of Erik's strong back retreating out of the office door weighed down on his mind, and suddenly, the book in his hand grew less and less appealing.

Naturally he never had the original intention of singling the other man out, but cut and dry that had been what he had done, even if Moria had very well started it.

 _Damn it,_ he was tired, and now he had successfully pissed of Raven _and_ Erik.

Tossing the book on the floor, he gave into defeat and let himself curl up into the welcoming blankets, sunlight be damned, and fall into much needed sleep.

Hours later, Charles was awaken from his doze by the time the sun head already gone down. His hair was a mess, nightclothes and robe wrinkled from where they had been bunched up between the mattress and his form, and, someone was _knocking_ ? A quick glance to his clock told him he’d already slept for far too long, so instead of ignoring _whoever it was_ , he shimmied out of his blankets and stomped his way over to the door. Opening a little fast, eyes still heavy with sleep, he was surprised to see not Raven, but Erik at his door, looking, naturally pristine in a crisp button up shirt and maroon overcoat.

“I was going to ask you for a walk, but I don’t know if you’re up for it.”

_Oh fuck off... No, God, this is a good thing._

“No, sorry, I can get ready, just...” His hands were everywhere as he moved back into the depths of his room, combing through his hair, leaving a trail of nightclothes in his wake. The click of the door closing as Erik let himself in was easily ignored, and instead of thinking too hard on why he wanted to see Charles in the first place, he focused on trying to look halfway decent.

Finding himself in front of his dresser, clad only in a lousy pair of boxers and a stained t-shirt he’d gotten back in his freshman year of college, he let his drawers be ripped open. At this point his normal, textbook professor aesthetic wasn’t an option, so he threw on the first pullover sweater he could find, a baggy pair of jeans, and shoes he’d left scrambled by his bed earlier this morning.

“Alright, ready, sorry.” Soon, the man had settled his eyes back on the frantic telepath, and without a word to Charles’ surely silly appearance, he nodded and made his way back into the hall.

There honestly wasn’t many places to go, but there was garden within the depths of headquarters that was nearly charming, so they went there. The air was warm, and had the gentle breeze that came right before fall struck. They hadn’t spoken yet, but when the smaller of the two looked up at the others face he saw a storm of thought his nearly stone-faced expression, so he bit his tongue, and waited.

“If I see Shaw, I won't be able to control myself, you know that.”

“I won't let you kill yourself, if that’s what you were worried about.”

Lips opened and closed, Erik's eyes clouding over with a type of intensity only he could manage, but he didn’t speak, and Charles didn’t push.

The following silence had started tense, but slowly moved onto a comfort, both of them walking ever so slowly down the path, hands limp at their sides. He knew what the other was afraid of, or, at least he could imagine, Erik was more afraid of being stopped then that monster killing him, and the thought alone put a sorry lump in the telepaths chest.

The drizzle was so subtle the men didn’t even seem to notice, all wrapped up in different what-if situations, however, the soft drizzle soon turned into something more, and the harsh downpour that followed was a little _harder_ to ignore.

The smell of rain was sweet, and by the time they had finished racing down the remainder of a path to the small gazebo in the middle of the garden they were out of breath and soaked. Whoever started laughing first was unclear, but it was deadly contagious, and if you had told Charles this morning in the stiff air of the conference room that they'd be here in the middle of a sudden summer storm, giggling like a couple of idiots he wouldn’t have believed you.

It was minutes till they could form a coherent sentence, and it was too late to do anything by the time he realized the way Eriks hand curled sweetly around his forearm or how his hands had found their way flattened against the other man's strong chest.

“The drowned schoolboy look suits you well, Charles.” The giggle that followed was anything but appropriate for a man like him to produce, blue eyes full of tears and breath ragged.  

“Oh and _you_ look just _stunning_ .” His eyeroll didn’t sell his sarcasm, because he was beaming regardless, and honestly the rain soaked Romeo look for Erik _did_ look downright charming. “Did you really wake me from my well needed nap just for the sake of sabotage?”

“No.”

“Oh?”

“I thought I’d like to see you is all.”

This silence had been different than the others, all intent and suffocating, eye contact was too intense for the professor to handle, so, he found solace in the damp cement below. He was blushing, he knew that, and his chest was beating way too damn fast for a grown man about to head into his thirties.

_Pull yourself together, Charles, damn it._

There was a brief feeling of a hand combing through his hair, but it was hesitant, and soon the man felt it drop away, and whatever reason, when he looked up again that honey-sweet gaze he’d been treated to before was gone. Eriks face was like stone, looking out into the wet path.

* * *

 

Raven tried ignore the nagging self-pity that was weighing her down once she finally worked up the courage to make her way to Charles’ room, only to find him gone.

The night before had still had her kicking herself, what had he expected? Leaving them all behind for so long, they were completely in the dark… Regardless, finding a group of people where she could be completely herself was… Nice. Unlike Charles, given any normal circumstance, feeling comfortable in her own skin was nearly impossible. She was different, Charles was all charisma and confidence, and honestly, she loved him for that… But…

What did she really have?

Making her way back down the hall to the main room, she took in the storming weather, which, she was sure wasn’t there moments before, and, nearly missed the form of the man she’d been searching for moments before, sprinting down the walkway.

What the hell was Charles doing outside?

Focusing her eyes, she recognized the man beside him, and tried to ignore the sweltering jealousy that flared in her chest as she watched the usually collected professor fall into the arms of another man, laughing in a way she’d never seen him laugh.

_‘Oh, hell…’_

Averting her gaze quickly, she let her footsteps pick up, naturally, it had made sense. Charles hadn’t ever said he only liked women, but… How long had it been since the telepath had even spoken to her? Really, sat down, and spoken to her? Her whole life she had been the only one who Charles connect with, and now, it seemed she wasn’t the only one feeling the high of being around people who weren’t _different._ But, even though she understood it… She couldn’t help the way her heart stiffened up.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all of the attention chapter one got! But here's chapter two. Thank you everyone for reading! I promise the next chapter will be even more exciting. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

“It’s Emma Frost.”

Charles’ voice was hushed where he lay belly down in the grass. There they had been, laying there waiting for over an hour, in the shrubbery for _something_ to happen. All and all the downtime might’ve been nice not given the fact that they were spies in Moscow sitting right outside the building of a Government official, in the middle of the God damn day.

Honestly, he was pleased, when it came to Shaw, Erik was too wild, he’d throw himself so quick into the mouth of the beast so fast Charles would be lucky if he could find even a piece remaining, Frost was better. He could, however, feel the disappointment leaking off Moria in waves, after all, after a long flight like that the last thing she would like is to have to go home empty handed…

“I’m going.”

“No, don’t you dare, we are not starting a war.” Moria’s voice was stern, but, regardless, Erik was seemingly unaffected.

“She is his right hand _woman_.” And, Erik was right, but even still he was struggling to his feet too fast, and without waiting for a rebuttal or discussing a plan, he took off.

_Damn it._

Attempting to stop Erik was nearly impossible, because there he was, moving down to the building below in an display that could use, to be put lightly, some discretion. Sharp barbed wire wrapping around unsuspecting men as he made his way down to the entrance.

And some part of him must have been desperate for answers as well, because of retreating with Moria, there he was, struggling to his feet and chasing the man down the grassy hill.

Quieting the minds of the men he came across, he jogged after the other and felt a rush of relief when the familiar outline was spotted across the hall.

“You came.”

_Not like I had much of a choice._

“I told you I wouldn’t let you kill yourself, didn’t I?” And Erik had smiled, but then the expression slowly trailed away.

“This is the room?”

Blue eyes looked at the door now, really looked, and let his mind wander past it. Peaking through the man's eyes gave him way more information than he wanted to know. Considering what… Feelings there were going through that man's mind, he figured it was safe to say there wasn’t a guard in there with them.

“Yes, there’s only the two of them there.” And that was enough, because Erik was then pushing opening the door and making his way inside.

Once the man was asleep, which took Charles a couple seconds, the events worked out like clockwork.

There was making someone talk, and there was the way Eriks eyes lit up when he watched the cracks form and Frosts body begin to break, splintering across her midsection. Charles’ couldn’t keep his eyes on the woman, so he focused on the man instead.

“Erik… That’s enough.” He had to force the words out, but, he was ignored, that is, until with a sigh, the woman across the way reverted back and looked at the powerful in the eyes.

“She’s all yours.” He reverted back now, those cruel eyes looking at Charles something akin to friendly as he moved back towards the couch and settled there. Which, left him with his side of the deal.

Once her mind was open, he stepped forward.. The first things he sensed were her pride, her love for Shaw the feelings overflowing and powerful, and then there was everything else, and knew now that once he had his fill he was going to feel less and less grief about letting Erik nearly crack her open… And, he was right, it only took him a few minutes to piece everything together.

Those monsters wanted to start world war three, and damn it, they could pull it off.

“Beautiful _isn’t_ it?”

* * *

 

Taking her back was eerily easy, metal wound around her arms courtesy of Erik, and when he finally approached the pacing Moria, she seemed rather surprised to find the mutant in tow. The ride back was long and uncomfortable, and even more unsettling than the silence was the bad feeling he had in his gut.

Once they were on the plane, there was an hour of awkwardly tiptoeing around Frost. The air around her was stale and threatening, and the feeling rising up in Charles' gut only got worse the more he looked at her.

When the phone rang, everything sort of just came together.

The phone was pressed to Moria’s face in a rush, and when it first started Charles had taken to talking to Erik and ignoring the other telepath only a good ten feet away. Once his eyes landed on Moria’s face, however, he knew something was wrong.

 _‘I imagine the CIA will have worse things to worry about.’_ That’s what the blond woman across the room had said when they captured her, right?

Tapping into the agent's mind, he heard the hushed voices on the other line, the hollering of fear in the background…. And then… Nothing. There was a brisk scream, the rush of wind and the sickening sound of bones crushing.

_What the hell was going on there?_

A low, angry sound so unlike Charles tore from his throat, blue eyes turning to the blond telepath across the way as he _ripped_ into her mind. He saw it all, Shaw's plan to infiltrate the HQ, how they planned to act when Charles and Erik were out fucking off with a faulty lead. Everything was planned, and he was _furious_.

 _’He won’t touch your comrades, Shaw wouldn’t hurt our brothers.’_ Her mind screamed back, but his rage carried through, the woman actively flinching from his superior strength.

 _‘And I have every reason to believe that.’_ Not that the woman didn’t sincerely believe it, he could read that in her mind too.

Tearing away from it then, he thought of Raven. What would she do watching this? How could she possibly stay calm when the people around her are being slaughtered… God, she-

“ _Charles!_ ” A stern voice at his side, bringing him back to reality. “I need you to tell me what is going on.” Those light blue eyes were calm and serious, bringing him out of his frantic daze and his gaze away from the evil woman across from him.

Moria was stronger, spoke first, and when she was able to voice out the words that HQ was under attack, all the telepath could do was give a sorry nod. Understanding washed quickly over the others face, and the telepath could feel a hand tucking itself under his forearm, and leading him back, deeper into the plane.

He was ushered down into the aisle seat like a doll, and there Erik was, just across, their knees touching and holding Charles down and out of his thoughts. He expected to be prodded, but Erik just sat there, waiting, until the other man worked up the courage and opened his mouth. “God, they’re all by _themselves_ , Erik. Shaw is going to slaughter every human he can _find_.” His statement was met by silence, and for a moment Charles thought the other shut down, but suddenly there was the feeling of calloused hands on his own, working open tense fingers that had found themselves in fists and gathering them in his own.

“Shaw wouldn’t go all the way just to slaughter them Charles, he could send any of his henchmen to do that.” The other man's voice was shockingly soft, and, the telepath wanted to believe him… But the nausea bubbling in his stomach that had been building ever since glimpsing into the phone call growed.

“We were supposed to protect them.” He said weakly, and the hands holding his squeezed.

* * *

 

After a half hour of shocking intimacy, he had allowed himself to feel embarrassed about just how intently the other man's eyes watched their hands, and how soothing the feeling of Eriks thumb felt stroking the top of his knuckles. Blue eyes met the other, all serious and full of an emotion he was too abashed to try and identify, and he slowly let his hands untangle from the other.

By the time they were approached, an hour and a half of Charles gnawing on his lip and twiddling his thumbs had passed. There he sat, staring nervously at the back of the other seat, Erik at his side, eyes closed in his seat. In his moment of stress he didn’t notice Moria standing there until a phone was pressed up to his face and a familiar voice on the other line.

“Charles?”

_Raven! She was alright._

“Oh God, is everyone alright? Are you hurt at all?”

“I’m fine… But… Shaw killed Darwin. And, all the staff is dead.” He could hear the tremble of her voice, “Also… He took Angel.”

Darwin, was… _Dead?_ Hearing it was like a punch in the ribs, thinking about the staff and the mutant dying all because Charles went ahead and…

No, he couldn’t feel like that, Sean, Alex, Raven, Hank, and Angel were all still alive.

His body was limp against the seat as they covered all the bases, blue eye across the way now open and curious, settling on the side of Charles’ skull. Once he finally hung up and passed the phone back to the distraught Moria, he let his gaze settle on Erik’s once more.

“He took Angel, and… Darwin, is dead.”

The familiar fire in the others eyes was aflame, and there was a hand on his knee suddenly. “Charles.” And the telepath knew what he was going to say before he even said it, “We will destroy him, all of us together. I promise you.” And while he understood the sentiment of the deed, all he could offer to his friend was a weak smile in return and downcast eyes.

“Killing one man… Can not bring back the dead.” And he felt the man squeeze harder, the others face twisting in a way he hadn’t seen often. Was that uncertainty?

“This isn’t about bringing back the dead. This is about revenge.”

* * *

 

It took another four hours for the plane to land, and a remarkable amount of it was spent in silence. The atmosphere in the jet was lousy at best, and the telepath would like to think his mood gradually increased when they finally landed and Emma Frost was carted away. Although, regardless, Erik seemed even quieter than usual, eyes looking somewhere far off even as they arrived.

The four of them herded into the car then, Charles knee eagerly bouncing as soon as they were on the road headed back to the base. There was a lot of silence, but, watching the scenery on the way back to HQ he didn’t let it make him uncomfortable. Upon arriving, he shot out like a rocket, easily making his way over to the young mutants and to his sister with open arms, Erik behind him in tow.

Turning quickly now to the remaining children, he swallowed down his hesitance and spoke. “I’ve made arrangement for you all to go home immediately.”

The look of betrayal was universal, Alex rising from his seat and staring the professor down. “We aren’t going home.”

Sean was quick to his side, speaking down from the bench. “ _He’s_ not going back to prison.”

He tried to speak, to reason, but Alex’s temper flared, eyes bearing down into the professor's. “He killed Darwin!”

There was a soft presence at his back, his sisters hand on his shoulder. “Darwin is _dead_ , Charles. And we couldn’t even bury him.”

He knew they were right, but even still, the killing could end here, couldn’t it?

The silence was stiff, and this time, it was Erik that spoke next.

“We can avenge him.”

All eyes were on Erik in that moment, expressions quickly turning hopeful and there the man stood, proud and sure of himself, so unlike Charles. Moving towards him then, he touched the upper arm of the man and watched those eyes switch to him then, that iron gaze switching now into something sweeter as they made their way away from the others.

“They’re just _kids.”_

“No, Charles, they were kids. Shaw has his army, we need ours.” There was a patience to his voice, but his eyes were wild, and the telepath knew he was right. Knew, that, these young people had watched their friend be slaughtered and he was here now, trying to rob them of the opportunity to redeem themselves.

Moving away from the other then, he looked across hopeful eyes, looked at the rubble, and made his decision.

_“We will need to train.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while to get this chapter just the way I wanted it, but with everyone's encouragement I was able to push another one out! Thank everyone who is sticking with me through this journey of writing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, this is where the explicit warning comes in. Now, I will say there isn't any sex in this chapter, but, it is VERY GAY. 
> 
> Enjoy. ;)

It seemed so bizarre to arrive back in New York after everything that had happened. Upon finally reaching the Xavier mansion, he took in the sight of the large oak trees overhead, and the winding paths leading back, deeper down the side of the house. There the boys had found themselves, Alex and Sean, all laughter and rough housing after being so long kept up in their seats.

“I thought you looked like a rich boy, but I never knew _how_ rich.” The familiar voice rang close in his ear, Eriks eyes flashing with pride as he gained a look of exasperation from the man currently fishing a key out of his wallet.

“Oh shut it.”

The other was close at his side, following the telepath as the door opened and they made their way into the grand main hall. Soon, everyone else found their way as well, herding into the door.

“Holy crap,” Alex's eyes were bright, “How many rooms does this place have?”

“More than enough, if you thought the front was impressive, than you’ll be amazed when you see the back.” Not that they were hardly listening, all full of wonder and excitement as they moved deeper into the mansions depths, Raven and Hank hurrying off fast enough that is was only a couple minutes before he and Erik were abandoned in the entrance way.

“Well, since you’re the only one left, I’ll assume you would like a tour?” For today, this would be fine, they would settle in their new base, and for _just today_ Charles would let himself forget about Shaw and the slaughter and just enjoy this. He was met with a polite nod of the head, and into the house they went, moving down the wide hallways into the kitchen, one of the main sitting rooms, and down the back steps that led to the lake out back.

Walking out past the pebbled path he let those blue eyes drift, melancholy chilling him to his core as blue eyes found the two youngest mutants out skipping stones by the lakeside.

“You won't regret this Charles.” Sometimes, he felt like Erik was the one with mind powers, at his side the moment hesitance rears its ugly head.

“I hope you’re right, my friend.” And even though he wouldn’t like to openly admit it, feeling the other close to his side put a part of himself at ease. There was a hand at his lower back, coaxing him out of his daze, and when he finally made contact with the others gaze it was all warm and soft as he pulled the brunette back towards the house.

“You still have quite a bit to show off, don’t you? Come on.”

The nighttime came quick, after showing the other man all of the upstairs everyone had gathered back together, all except Raven, already having a bed to call her own, for room assignment. Alex and Sean were put close by, smaller rooms, by his homes standards at least, all furnished and overlooking the pond. Hanks room was larger, knocked right next to the library, and Eriks was put beside his own in one of the more extravagant guest rooms with a large bed and dark bedspread that he was sure suited the man better than the floral comforter in his mother's old room.

His only concern was that the room might be wasted on him, because as soon as the other mutant took note of it he was already on the smaller mans tail, following him down the hall into the room, surely, where he would be spending most of his nightlife.

Charles room wasn’t the largest, there were areas for his personal books, a desk, and his bed, but most of the space was taken over by the quaint sitting area near the fireplace. Two velvet armchairs were arranged around his father's chess board, and he was sure if Erik hadn’t been with him all day he would’ve assumed the telepath had set the area just for them.

It was only a couple drinks and a couple games before the other was slipping out though, and the man only had a moment to change into his nightclothes before he could hear a knock at his door and there was a blonde head peeking in.

“Can I come in?”

Beckoning her in, he watched those eyes turn downcast and shy where she stood in the middle of the floor.

When they were children, they bonded easily, from the night he found her on they were nearly inseparable, finding home in each others mutations.

Getting older though… Changed some things.

He listened to the creak of the floorboards as he moved across the floor, settling on his bed. He didn't like the air around them, it shouldn't be awkward like it was, they were practically siblings for Christs sake. With his best attempt at a welcoming smile, he motioned the girl to sit next to him, and without hesitation she came and ducked her head into the welcoming shoulder she found there.

“Raven… I’m sorry. I really am.”

“No I… I’m happy.” Her eyes still wouldn’t meet his, but looking out across the room, to the fireplace, he figured that was alright. “All these people I’ve met, they’re like me. I’ve never had that before.” The young woman from his memories appeared, always at Charles’ side, when she was with the other mutants, she acted different. She acted _happy._

“Things will get more dangerous from here on Raven, if you don’t want to fight it’s al-”

“No, I want to fight. For Darwin. For everyone. The whole courtyard was just… Corpses. They didn’t hesitate for one moment.” And he thought he heard the ghost of a sniffle in her voice, but when he looked down, her eyes were shining and she was staring strong into the fire. “I don’t know what I can do, but if there is something, I want to try.”

Instead of arguing, telling her it wasn’t alright, he bit his lip and gave a harsh nod.

* * *

 

A week went by too fast, once he let Hank loose in the enormous underground that belonged to the Xavier estate, he hardly left. He, Hank, and Erik would stay down there until late into the night, transforming and crafting the rooms. The room for cerebro was enormous, and if not for Erik it may have taken an eternity to create.

“Sean stay still.” There Charles was then, in his mother's sitting room, kneeling at the boys feet and taking his measurements.

“These aren’t going to look dorky are they?” He had whined once, and the telepath gave him one smack to the leg.

“These suits are going to cultivate your powers, and, any design flaws you’ll have to go to Hank with.” He stood then, measuring the length of the boy's arm, and scribbling it down onto his note pad.

Once he was done with measurements, the redhead exited out into the hall quickly enough.

Left in the room, he heard the uncanny sound of a laugh off in the corner, and he promptly ignored it until he was done checking over every measurement. “You can laugh all you want, Erik.”

“I didn’t know you were so motherly, Charles. That’s all.”

Giving him one stern look, he waved the other over and folded the notepad and measuring tape into his hand. “I need you to do me now. Surely you’ve watched enough to get the hang of it.”

“Right here? Is that really appropriate?”

The look that the other gave him with nearly erotic, but instead of humoring the others grin, he turned away from him and stuck his arms out to the side. “Get on with it, Hank is waiting for these.”

“Yes sir.”

Erik was being surprisingly considerate, his measurements were accurate and scribbled down onto the notepad properly. Behind him he could see the reflection of the sunset on white walls, filtering through the too-large windows and thin white curtains. Blue eyes watched the stone faced expression of the other man and fluid cursive as he worked, oddly enough, the silence was nice, the warm hum of sunlight shadowing stark features. Erik really was too handsome for his own good, surely.

It wasn’t until the other reached Charles’ legs and wrapped the tape around the base of his thigh the brunette recognized the atmosphere and realized that he was liking the way the other touched him.

“...Ah, wait, I can measure my legs.” Blue eyes met his, all full of confusion, and when realization dawned in the others eyes the telepath very much wanted to find a rock to crawl under. He expected a grin, a taunt, but instead there was an expression he'd never seen before, instead of saying anything, those eyes moved down to the others legs and went back to the task at hand.

Though, this time, it was a little different.

Rough hands dragged over his legs from one measurement to the other, he wasn’t imagining the ghost of a hand dragging up his ass when he pulled away from measuring the mans hips. Nor, how his hips were held a little too tight when the length of his legs were measured. By the time the other man had gone to measure his other thigh he was well awake that he was erect, for _fucks_ sake this was _not_ the time for this.

Not like he could help it, blue eyes watching the others head as he scribbled one more measurement down.

“A-are you finished?” He was barely able to utter it out, hand moving out, beckoning for the notepad, and nearly choking when he felt the other's hand tucking itself under his own.

There was a brush of lips against his palm, and the noise he let out was surely, not a noise he’d made before, he knew Erik had said something, but he didn’t hear it. Suddenly, even in the dim light of the day room it was still too bright, too many sensations. Eyelids fluttering closed, he felt suddenly the feeling of paper in his hand, and the sound of footsteps.

When he opened his eyes again, Erik was gone.

The room felt too big now, leaving him feeling vulnerable with the tent in his trousers and flushed cheeks. Wearing a pullover cardigan and a button up shirt wasn't the look of a deviant… But here he was regardless.

And Erik had left, _why_ had he left?

Maybe he just had enough sense not to try to fuck his bestfriend in the middle of the sitting room.

Gathering himself just enough to be able to walk into the hall, he had to take the walk of shame back to his bedroom. Ignoring the deafening feeling of rejection, went into his room, locked the door and chucked off his pants.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had a need quite this severe, but remembering the look in the others eyes and the feeling of hands hovering right above his ass set his brain on fire. Throwing himself down on the bed, he let his back his the mattress and his hand drag his cock out of his underwear.

The face of his friend entered his head too fast, and biting back a bought of grief he let his hand drag over the arching need. He didn’t bother trying to make it last, his hand all messy and fast as he worked himself up into a frenzy, the image of the other kneeling at his feet in his mind's eyes.

Oh, he was going to feel like _dirt_ after this.

From down the hall, he could feel the touch of Eriks consciousness, and, in his lustful daze, he brushed the mind, just a bit, and instead of feeling the disgust he imagined when the other had left. The mind hit him like a freight train; all passion and… _Possession_.

_‘Charles, Charles, Charles... ‘_

_Oh no, God, he’s…_

Flashing out of the other man's mind just in time, he let out a noise that was, way too loud for four in the afternoon, and made a mess onto his button up.

His afterglow was very quickly disrupted by reality.

This was bad, this was really, really bad.

Just looking into that mind for a few moments he invaded the other's privacy, he did it just for the sake of _getting off._ That in itself was bad enough, but, just from a few seconds, the emotions going through the other man's body was overwhelmingly obvious.

Erik was _in love_ with him.

Covering that guilty face with his hands, he let out a scream into his palms.

_What the hell was wrong with him?_

* * *

 

Flipping through the pages, he let himself make his way back into the long hall and down to the lab where he knew Hank would be.

Upon entering, he found the mousy man leaning over a part of Alex’s suit, placing the measurements down beside him, he saw the other easily jump and those bespectacled eyes fall on him.

“I got them all.”

He had given himself a good hour of sulking before he finally got up and changed, after coming to terms with what he had done, he had changed into new clothes and sulked out of his room.

“Oh, um, thank you.” The other man took the pad away quickly, and Charles tried not to think about what a simple task like taking measurements had turned into. Surely, he knew he couldn’t apologize, there was no way he could admit to his friend just what he had done, and while he was thinking all this, he quickly realized, Hank had started talking.

Blinking himself back to life, blue eyes let themselves settle on the puzzled expression of the scientist across from him.

“Charles, are you alright?”

“What? Oh, God, yeah, I’m sorry, just a bit…”

“Tired?”

That was a good excuse, he’d use it.

“Yes, sorry, that’s it.”

The others eyes moved back to the notepad then, giving a long nod. “This is all I needed, thank you, professor.” And the man took that chance, giving one quick nod before ducking out of the lab and back into the hall.

* * *

 

Every night, without fail, Erik would find his way into Charles’ room and stay there until the early morning. They didn’t talk about their flirtation in the dayroom, and luckily for the guilty telepath, the man hadn’t seem to notice the invasion of his mind. Another a few days had gone by, and after hearing the prototypes for Alex and Sean's suits should be done by the morning, they used it as an excuse to drink a little more than usual during their chess game.

“It’s crazy to think about how much we’ve already accomplished...” Charles had mused, leaning over his third glass of liquor, and while he was already starting to feel perfectly frazzled, Erik looked just fine, leaning back into his matching armchair and over the still scattered board from their last game of the night. “....And how much more we still have to do.”  

He saw Erik fiddling with the lip of his glass, staring down into his booze. “Shaw is strong. We will have to become stronger.”

The words hung in the air for a long time.

Charles hesitated, but only for a moment. “I... will not teach these children that violence is the only way to solve their problems.” He hadn’t meant to offend, but he had realized his challenge a little too soon, and the man across from him puffing up his chest in defense as brows knitted together.

“Damn it, what do you think will happen after we defeat him, Charles? Are you so naive that you think mankind won't try to rip us apart?” Humankind had always feared things that were different than them, and he couldn’t even pretend to believe that his little safe haven here would protect them forever… But… “As soon as they see our powers they will try to destroy us. And what will you tell everyone then? As they’re being _carted off_ in…”

“ _Erik.”_ And that was all it took, those stormy eyes looking up to find the telepath combing a tired hand through his hair. Of course he knew all those things, all the things that came next, but…

_But..._

There was a long silence, and he could feel Erik staring at him for a long moment before he stood, and pulled the other man up onto his feet. “Come with me.”

Leaving the thick air their had created behind, Erik pulled the other man out into the hall without another word.

“Where are we going?”, he listened to the matching beat of their barefeet moving along the floor. There was a giddy kind of nervousness as his wrist was tugged into the other's room and his eyes immediately fell onto the bed.

_‘You’re drunk, Charles, get your mind out of the gutter.’_

Oddly enough, they stopped at the window, and the last thing he expected was for the other to let go of him and go _climbing out_ his body disappearing onto an invisible ledge and leaving Charles alone and confused in the other mutants bedroom.

Surely he didn’t expect him to go out there.

When the telepath was a child, he absolutely hadn’t ever been allowed on the roof. Once he had let himself sit on the side of one of the balconies and his mother had him by the ear and in his room so fast he hadn’t even had the time to process the words flying out of her mouth. So, as he nervously stepped up the side, his body filled with a mysterious sense of wonder and a childlike anxiety. There, at the top of the roof, he found Erik, sitting where the roof was nearly level, watching the other ascend.

“God, and here I thought your room was gathering dust. When did you find this place?” His steps were too clumsy, and he was grateful for the hand reaching out and grasping at his own as he nearly tipped back. Letting out a yelp as he was grasped, his mouth was quickly covered, because it _was_ three in the morning, and the adrenaline lined giggle that escaped at the look of fright on the others face as he was tugged up the slight incline was hardly appropriate.

“Shut up and sit down before you fall off.”

“Did I scare you?” He teased once, as he was manhandled into a sitting position, and he was given a look that would surely, if he was a child, make him cry.

Whatever Eriks intentions were, he looked different here, leaning back easy against the roof and looking up into the sky.

“I must admit, when you pulled me out of my room, this is not what I expected.”

“What did you expect me to pull you into bed?” And Charles coughed at that.

“Don’t be an ass.”

“Come here, lay next to me.”

“And nearly slid off again? I don’t think so.”

“Are you a _coward_ , Charles?”

“When it comes to potentially falling two stories and breaking my leg? _Yes_.” But there was a tug on his arm, and he think he nearly pissed himself as his back hit the stone roof, not that it mattered, because clinging to the other now he couldn’t help the laugh that started to escape, loud and throaty and so unlike him he would definitely be blaming the alcohol. “You’re insane.” And he swore, he could hear the other laughing too, for just a moment, before the telepath was shifting to rest his head on the man's chest.

Just for tonight, it would be fine if he indulged himself a little bit.

Thinking back into what he’d seen of Eriks past, it was hard to imagine that cold and cruel man he’d seen then was the same one pulling the frightened telepath on a roof for stargazing. When it came to Shaw, Erik was all sharp edges and violence, now with the two of them on the roof in their pjs, he was like a boy. All warm and playful, and the thought of losing the man that his friend was here, now, brought a pain in his heart he couldn’t recognize.

He tried to swallow down those feelings, focusing on the warm at his side and the stars overhead, because here they really were more beautiful, and he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d done something as simple as stargazing.

Shifting then, he thought, to hell with it, and nuzzled up into the croak of the man's neck, intimate and sweet and he bit down embarrassment and kept his eyes focused on the sky. The small intake of breath from above would’ve been easy to ignore, if he hadn’t been looking for it. He could hear the others heartbeat, feel the way his arm curled around his shoulders, and the nearly phantom feeling of lips brushing the top of his head.

“Du machst mich zu einem besseren Menschen.” The voice was all soft and smitten, so quiet he nearly missed it. Thinking it would be kind to ignore it, he was content keeping his eyes on the stars but then there was a hand cupping his cheek, beckoning him to look into familiar eyes.

His heart wasn’t ready.

“Stay with me.” Erik had said, and the smaller man his cheeks were all red and terrible and he really, really had to struggle to speak.

“Where else would I go?” And there was breath on his lips and a look of physical _pain_ in the other man's eyes, a hand curling in his hair. Never before had Charles seen this man look so _vulnerable_ so, he made his decision.

The press of lips on lips was brief, chaste, and when Charles had pulled away again he was sure Erik was in some sort of state of shock. He didn’t expect the tears, and he tried to ignore the part of him that thought Erik looked beautiful when he cried, and when strong arms wrapped him up in an embrace he didn’t do anything but lay there and listen to the words he knew had to come eventually.

  
“ _God,_ I love you Charles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Du machst mich zu einem besseren Menschen: Means, "You make me want to be a better man" 
> 
> I don't know, my headcanon always was that Erik has a really hard time actually loving someone because of all his faults and issues, and so admitting he loved Charles would be really difficult considering. YEAH.
> 
> So, when I started writing this chapter I didn't expect like it so be half as gay as it ended up, but here we are. I'm excited to get as much love in there as I can until the end of first class, thank you for all the kudos and views everyone!


	5. Chapter 5

Charles  _ did _ know better, he really did. Eriks mind was all revenge and passion, rage and heat, there were things he could do, and things he couldn’t. One thing was for certain, his stay here, in this mansion, was very temporary. The telepath was well aware that if he kept letting himself be swept away by this man, it would only hurt that much more when this man finally left… But, he still held the other until well after he was done crying, and his heart ached with an emotion he didn’t quite know how to place.

When they finally made their trek back down into the other man's bedroom it was almost time for the sun to come up, and there was a soft hand at his back, leading him back down the hall, regardless of it only being a measly twenty feet to Charles' bedroom. He was well aware he was being wooed, and he told himself he wasn't going to have it, but he still blushed like a bride when the other had gathered his hands in his own, and kissed his temple goodnight.

_ “Gute Nacht, Schatz.” _

He was left there, at his door, the fuzzy warmth leaking off of Erik buzzed pleasantly against the side of his mind and once he was finally secure in his own bed his heart didn’t stop pounding in his chest until the sun was nearly up. 

Charles was in deep trouble. 

The next day at breakfast Charles was positively exhausted, into the grand kitchen he stumbled, the table nearly full and the counter already scattered with loaves of bread and open jars of jam. There Erik was, wedged between Alex and Raven, perfectly awake.

“Charles! You awake?” He heard Raven call, all teasing and too much energy. “Erik left you some bacon, it’s on the plate next to the stove.” 

“When do we get to see our suits?” He heard the excited call of Alex besides Erik, giving Hank, poor, kind Hank, a swift kick under the table. Oh boy, they had to be exceptionally full of energy today didn’t they? Not that they didn’t have the right, after mainly strength training up till this point, this was when using their powers really came into play. 

He only really had himself to blame, he hadn’t stayed up that late since before college. 

“I want everyone to keep in mind that these are just prototypes, they will help us train.” His voice lacked the assertiveness he’d wanted, he realized as he approached with his bacon, leftover eggs, and a slice of toast. He moved to seat across from Erik, right next to Hank, and he could feel some tension in Hanks shoulders lessen, and he gave Alex one look before he started eating. 

“Not a lot of sleep last night, professor?” And, brushing over his mind he knew that Alex knew exactly what was going on, after all, Charles wasn’t exactly quiet, and since his room was the closest to Erik’s of all the children it would only take an open window to overhear their little adventure the night before. The grin on the young boy made his eyes roll, and he decided he would not indulge the boy, not today.

“I slept like a log.” 

Ignoring the disbelieving snort, he dug into his too-cold breakfast, before sparing a coy glance to the man sitting across from him. Even from where his face was turned, having some hushed conversation with Raven, he saw the bags under those stormy eyes, and he took comfort in knowing he wasn’t the only one kept up with feelings like these. 

Then, their eyes made contact, and the telepath tried not to feel kicked when it was only brief enough to be constituted as a look before those eyes were finding their way back to the blond her beside him. 

Perhaps nothing was going to change, maybe Erik figured that last night's confession and kiss was a mistake, and he’d be right to think so. 

But why did that thought make the telepath feel so outright awful? 

* * *

The next week Charles was met with very sore legs and early nights, training with the boys had been rewarding, Alex was nearly able to control where his beam pointed, all thanks to Hanks prototype, and after a nasty little shove from Erik, Sean had felt comfortable enough to soar in the skies.

Not that he ended up liking the magnetic next much afterwards though, and Charles tried not to find the humor in it. 

There was definitely more contact now he noticed, the hovering from before turned into touching, there would be a hand on his waist, his elbow, and he quickly realized that everyone knew just what was going on. Ever since their night on the roof he hadn’t been kissed again, but when Erik would leave for bed he would linger a few seconds too long, look the telepath over with an abashed little look that didn’t suit two men in their thirties. 

And, Charles, found himself disappointed every night when the kiss didn’t come, and that was a very dangerous feeling.

When Moria announced she would be stopping by for a visit, Charles originally thought it a welcome distraction, until that is, he found out it was all business. An important address from the president so out of the blue had to mean it was something important, and the telepath had an itching feeling that it had to do with Shaw. When she arrived, he let her small arm tuck itself around his, watched the way her auburn hair curled around her chin, and felt defeat when the attraction he had when he first met her in the bar didn’t come. 

It was still early in the morning and the fall air chilled Charles’ skin in his light overcoat. Moria seemed happy exploring, and he didn’t think anything of it when she pressed her body a little closer to his in the gardens. “The president address today will be important, I’ve been hearing whispers of war everywhere.” Her dark eyes were downcast, looking down into the grass. “If Shaw has a plan to start a war, then today will probably be our best clue.” She looked up at him then, and he was scared that the fear he felt building in his gut was obvious on his face, because she stopped there, averting her eyes. “All of these kids look up to you, Charles. I know you’ll do the best job possible.” And he hoped she was right, hesitance reaching out and squeezing his throat like a vice. 

When they finally arrived back to the main building, he met up with everyone back in the main sitting room, the first thing he noticed, was Erik wasn’t there, and letting go of Moria then he barely had enough time to think to speak before there was a presence at his back. 

“Come with me.” 

Turning just in time to catch a glimpse of Erik in his grey tracksuit, he had no time to process what was happening before the other man pulled him out of the room, grinning like a child as a very confused professor was brought out towards the back entrance. 

“Ah, wait, Erik, this is  _ very _ rude. Where are you taking me now?” 

“To train.” 

_ “Now?” _

“Now.” 

And Charles felt himself laughing, just a little bit, and he allowed it, just for now, because he felt his nerves starting to loosen, bit by bit, as they made it out into the clearing.

Though, having the other hand him a gun and try to convince him to shoot him point blank, was not what he expected. The metal was cool in his palm, and the others grin was too easygoing, so when he tossed the tool to the side he took a bit of pride in the way the others ego faltered. 

“What every happened to the man trying to move a submarine?” The other man's head shook, an almost flustered expression rising to his face.

“No, I need the passion, the rage, that was…”

Moving now, he found himself looking out across the yard, off the side of the balcony, and found the too-large satellite off in the distance. If Erik wanted to train, he was going to train proper, and Charles knew exactly how he was going to help him.

“See that? I want you to turn it to face us.” 

And Erik did try, moving towards the stone support and looking out at the task as if it was simply impossible. But he tried, one little look in the telepaths direction and he was reaching out his hands, all out of breath and winded when he found himself in failure.

“You know… I believe true focus lies between rage  _ and _ serenity.” There was a little puzzled expression on the others face, and moving with his instincts, he moved a finger to tap on his temple and beckoned for the others attention. “Do you mind if I…?” 

A shake of the head from his partner was all he needed, and in that mind he delved, reaching past all of the hesitance and frustration, into a part of his mind that seemed untouched. Despite being a man so frequently troubled by rage, in here, being able to move as he wished, he found beautiful things. Out of all the memories he skimmed over, he found his favorite were of this man as a child, and one of them reached out with a warm glow that sucked Charles in before he even was able to prepare. 

_ “Come now, Max, lets go light the candles.”  _

_ The small dining room smelled sweet of bread and lavender, and the settling sun leaked a soft red light in through the open curtains. His heart was warm, little legs scrambling ahead of the young woman and finding their way to his seat. _

_ This woman Charles had never seen before huddled him closer, sitting him down before the menorah. In the low candlelight, he could see presents wrapped in thick brown paper, scattered across a small mantleplace. He knew, this was not his memory, but looking through Eriks eyes he could feel the excitement and joy of a boy, and the warm embrace of a mother Charles himself was not so used to.  _

_ “Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam asher kidishanu b'mitz'votav v'tzivanul'had'lik neir shel Chanukah.” _

_ The candles lit up, the smell of smoke and aches filling his nostrils, and there was a present being pressed into his palms in the low light, a kiss being pressed atop his head. Little fingers ripped into the paper harshly, eyes glowing with excitement at the small wooden doll in his palms.  _

_ “Happy Hanukkah, my dear.”  _

Easing himself out of the memory, he realized he was crying, blue eyes blinking forward and finding his friend looking at him in a way he’d never quite encountered, with tears unlike he’d ever seen wet on his cheeks. The affection Charles felt was very much his own, and he was only pulled out of his trance when the other finally spoke.  

“What did you just do to me?” 

“I accessed the brightest corner of your memory system. It was a very beautiful memory Erik, thank you.” And the man was still crying, fragile like glass in the sunlight, a pain retching its way through the telepath that nearly had him reaching out.

“I didn’t know I still had that.” And his voice was weak, like a man lost, and Charles smiled at him like he was the sun. 

“There is so much more to you than you know… Not just pain, and anger, there’s good there too. I felt it.”  _ You’re beautiful,  _ he had thought, but he forced down the thought like it was poison. “...And when you can  _ access  _ all that, you’ll hold a power no one can match. Not even me.” And Erik was all tears, eyes holding an emotion Charles had never seen before, and when the other began reaching for him, he stopped him, giving the other a pat on the arm and pointing back towards the satellite.

“Come on.”

And this time, it was a lot easier, the large chunk of metal screeching along and, once he had done it, Erik laughed, really laughed, nearly toppling over in glee, and Charles laughed too. His hands found their way into the other's soft sweatshirt, and suddenly, there were hands on either side of his face. 

The kiss was all sweet and sloppy, Eriks lips hastily finding Charles’ in a surge of passion, there was tongue in this one though, and soon the telepath had found his hips pressed against the stone balcony and the others body close to his own, but it was brief, and moments later Erik was pulling away, all smiles and adoration as he nuzzled his nose closer to the others. 

“I love you.” He said again, and Charles’ eyes fluttered closed, body trembling with the weight of the second confession. He felt his cheeks being kissed, his eyelids, leftover tears sticking to the side of his face. 

It was a pity that reality had to go and ruin the moment. 

Blue eyes peeked past the other mutant for just a moment, and his cheeks were too red too fast as he noticed nearly every one of his students and company gaping at their display. Oh jeez. 

“ _ Erik….”  _ He had groaned once, and the cat like grin that spread across the other man's face when the professor realized their audience made him want to smack him. 

“Something the matter?” 

“You’re well aware everyone can see us?” 

“ _ And?”  _ There was another chaste kiss pressed to the side of his mouth, and he thought he’d have to shove the other away until Hanks brave head, no doubt forced into it, poor chap, hollered out to the men making asses of themselves in the yard.

“T-The president is about to start his speech.” And the magic was broken, the pair heading back inside. 

* * *

The president's address only brought him dread, he knew exactly what it had meant, and it meant tomorrow was their only chance. Sitting in the main room, Moria drew up plans for the next two hours. His anxiety didn't hit him properly until they were heading back to his room, Erik in tow, and the moment they were inside he started pacing.

Tomorrow, tomorrow they would be flying out. Tomorrow he would be leading these children into the eye of the beast and there was no way if he was able to tell if they were ready… 

“Charles. Sit down.” 

“How am I supposed to sit down?” His voice was all full of nerves and harsh, and there Erik was, looking at him with a patient gaze, waiting, and the telepath let him beckon him down in front of the chess board, if only for a moment. Avoiding the eyes across from them that were currently studying his face, he decided chess would be easier, so, he moved his pawn, still rather insistent on not making contact with the others intense gaze, and Erik moved too.

It was a long time of playing in silence before the telepath finally was able to gather his voice again.

“Cuba… Russia, America? It makes no difference.” He had finally started, his unsettled mind swimming with thoughts. “Shaw has declared war on mankind, on all of us… He has to be stopped.” And Erik gave him a look then, full of some emotion he couldn’t place, before the other man was speaking. 

“I’m not going to stop Shaw.” Those blue eyes looked up to meet the other mutants now. “I’m going to kill him. Do you have it in you to allow that?” And that was a cruel question, because Charles’ had no choice, and then they had started arguing. Arguing because, yes, Charles could realize that tomorrow he would have to out his students, and yes, mankind would definitely be afraid. But violence?  _ Murder? _ No, nothing the other man had to say would convince Charles that was the only option. 

Did he think humans wouldn’t lash out when they saw what mutants were capable of?  _ Of course not _ , because he was no fool, nor did he think they were all like Moria, as Erik liked to state, but, there _ were _ people like her, hoping for peace and willing to welcome them and damn it he shouldn’t be faulted for wanting to prevent a war. 

“Listen to me very carefully, my friend.” He started, the last couple minutes arguing leaving his voice shaky and desperate. “Killing Shaw will not bring you peace.” And an almost sickening expression crossed the other's face then, because even without dwelling into that mind he very well knew what the other was thinking before he spoke.

“Peace was never an option.”

All this time, Charles knew there was nothing he could do to keep Erik at his side for long, but now, in this room, he realized just how likely it was that this would be their last night, together. The other man had sat there for a long time, staring at the blank expression on his friend's face, before he had started to rise. 

“Get some sleep, Charles.” And his whole body jerked at that, and he was on his feet in an instant, reaching out and grabbing that strong wrist. 

“Wait,  _ please _ .”

And he did, Eriks body stilling where he faced the door, Charles didn’t know what he wanted, not exactly, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it if the other walked out that door now. 

“Stay with me tonight.”

“Charles _ … _ ” 

It was spoken like a warning, not that the telepath had half a mind to listen, this time it was him making the first move, sneaking his way around the others body and pressing himself against the man's chest. He hadn’t thought when he pressed his lips to the others, all desperation and nerves. The other's lips didn’t move under his, and when a hand grasped his shoulder and gently beckoned him away a nasty feeling of rejection drained it’s way through his body. 

Oh God, of course the other wouldn’t like him like this, he was a mess. 

“I’m sorry… I… You can go.” And he was backing away then, his blue eyes finding their gaze to the ground then. 

“Charles, it’s not that…” There was a hand on his face and a sweet kiss being pressed to his lips, and he let himself give into it. There were arms wrapping around him then, and he realized he’d never quite had a kiss like this before. He could feel Erik’s emotions projecting against the side of his mind, all desperation and love and it made the telepath feel impossibly young. 

_ “Don’t leave…”  _ The whisper was soft against the magnetic mutants lips, and there was a hand combing through his hair, but Erik didn’t speak. 

They stood there for a long time, holding each other, and then Erik was placing a hand at the small of his back and beckoning him towards the bed, they looked at each other for a long moment, and Erik spoke this time. “Is it alright if…” 

“Yes,  _ please. _ ” And there was a bashful hand fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. Unease and hesitation in the forefront of Erik's mind, and it was unbearably adorable. He couldn’t help it, he coaxed the other to look him in the eyes, and he spoke before he could think. “Erik Lehnsherr. I  _ love _ you.” The words left his lips as easy as breathing, and he watched the way the man he was used to flared back to life, and his back hit the bed so fast he felt winded. 

  
_ “I’m going to make a mess of you.”  _ Was whispered into his neck, and he bore his throat in response, because this was just the kind of distraction he  _ needed.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot of scenes straight from the movie I kind of glossed over, so if you haven't seen the movie in a bit I hope it can be more of a summary to those moments than a retelling. 
> 
> So this will probably be my last happyish chapter for a VERY long time, I'm still beta-less and grasping at straws, but I have high hopes. Thank everyone for reading! The next chapter WILL have smut in it, so, get ready. 
> 
> ANGST IS ON THE WAY.


	6. Chapter 6

It was like a dream, feeling the other over him like this.  

Fingers shredded open the front of his bothersome button-up, and hands were all over his skin too fast. Erik had given up on Charles’ neck and found his way back too willing lips, the kiss all tongue and teeth. The anxiety from earlier was forgotten all too quickly, and in the low light of the fireplace he could see the tension in Erik’s shoulders slipping away.

Oh God, _Erik_ , he was here in his bed and he was well aware this was _not_ the time, but the other was in the middle of moving down his body and sucking a obscene bruise onto his hipbone, and Charles was in no sort of mood to tell him to stop.

His hands found their way down, beckoning the others eyes to meet his before reaching and attempting to tug that offensive turtleneck up off the man's body. Instead, however, the fabric got snagged on that handsome chin and Charles couldn’t control the fit that followed, back flat on the mattress, giggling all too loud, tear filled eyes watching as the man wrestled it off his head. He was quite impressed when Erik didn’t let it disrupt him, however, because the moment the fabric was out of the way he was back down, kissing away laughter and gathering the telepaths hands and guiding them to touch.

And touch he did, Erik was really too handsome for his own good, and nimble fingers easily found their way across the mountains of the man's chest.

“You’re beautiful.” He let himself say it this time, because this may very well be his last chance, and the way emotion swelled its way to the other man's face told him it was worth it.

“ _Ich liebe dich._ ” Erik had whispered against his shoulder, the meaning behind those words sending a pleasant buzz through his body, and he was being moved then, pulled further up the bed before the others mouth was on him again.

They laid there, just kissing, for a long time, his lips starting to go numb as the other decided it was enough and frantic hands finally pushed the rest of that troublesome shirt off of Charles’ shoulders. When fingers touched the waistband of his pants it only took one nod of the telepaths head to the unsure mutant before they were being tugged down his legs and Charles realized just how hard he was.

There was tongue on him too soon, running all down the inside of his thigh, and the noise he made was really anything but decent, and he hoped anyone passing by in the hall had the brains to leave his room well alone for the night.

It only a couple of seconds of teasing for the professor to snap, really, and the look on the other face when he was suddenly flipped over made the man grin like a deviant.

“What? Did you expect me to just lay there, Erik? I’m not quite as innocent as your mind would like you to believe.” And he was moving down this time, fiddling with the others belt and taking a little too much pleasure in that look the other was giving him, all debatched and fond, as he janked those troublesome pants down the man's hips and found the filthy sight of Erik all strained and desperate in his too-tight boxers.

Oh, he was going to have fun, he was sure of that, and the way the man's eyes rolled back when he palmed at the heat he found there was making him very impatient.

The thought of tugging the other out of his underwear and really going nuts, _was_ appealing, but he let himself mouth him for a little while, and took glee in the irritated huff that came from above as he sucked a nice little wet spot onto the fabric of the others boxers.

” _Charles_.” The other had warned, once, blue eyes looking up to meet the others, and the raw glee that shot through his body as he saw the irritation clouding behind hazy eyes was really not fair to the other man.

“Hm?”

“Don’t push me.”

“And if I do?” And the underwear was janked down all at once, and he took relish in the way the other man's lips parted as he was freed from his prison and every inch of that body was exposed to the naughty telepath between his legs. He took the head into his mouth slowly, and, he ought to be ashamed of himself at how easily he was taking his best friends dick down his throat.

It only took a few seconds of ragged breathing from above him to remember that, he had received many compliments on just how good he was at giving head back in college, and a quick glance into the others head to realize that Erik Lehnsherr had never slept with a man before and he might very well be pushing it.

Not that he had any intention to stop, not with the way his friend was looking at him now, and he let out a happy little exhale when he felt hesitant hands making their way into his hair.

He was sure he looked quite like a mess, mouth dripping wet from saliva, hair all sorts of fucked from strong fingers digging into his scalp, and he realized he was making noises too, his hips in a rut against his unspeakably expensive duvet. Not that Erik looked any better, he was unbelievably hard and the look of disbelief hadn’t quite faded away. As much as Charles liked the way the other was looking at him like a virgin, it was remarkably short lived. When the others head rubbed up against the back of his throat, Erik let out a sound that was pained, tugging Charles’ head up by his hair and shoving his face down into the mattress all too fast, the professor finding he liked the way his scalp burned a little _too much._

“I never would have guessed you were such a minx, Charles.” The growl was close to his ear, and a rush of heat went straight down to his cock.

“Oh?” His voice was muffled, the smooth material under him sticking to the nasty mix of fluid still stuck to his chin. “You must not have gone to Oxford then.” And there was a click of disapproval and the feeling of a hand smacking his ass just once behind him that made a vulgar little giggle escape his throat.

There were hands all across his back then, and Charles let himself get comfortable on his stomach and let his hips raise just slightly as the man shimmied his underwear down the smaller mans legs. He managed to rock his hips against the mattress once, before strong fingers were gripping him and holding the professor still.

There was a moment of stillness, of hesitation, and Charles was very curious what about, before he felt the other's breath against his bare ass and let out a squeal that really betrayed the sexy, experienced sex fiend persona he was trying to portray. Not that he could help it, because _Jesus_ , Erik had nuzzled his face right up against his ass and pressing his tongue right where he _should_ and Charles was on cloud nine already because _no one_ had ever done _that_ before.

“Not quite so cocky now are you Charles?” Came a muffled voice from below, and he yelled out as the tongue started prodding its way inside and a hand reached up to paw at his ass.

It was only minutes before he could feel himself leaking all on the bed, his hips moving against the others immoral mouth that was really, very nice, and his voice was really too loud for nine o’clock at night in a house full of teenagers full of smart remarks… But being fucked open with tongue might be one of his new favorite things and when the man pulled away he tried to pretend he wasn’t disappointed.

Peeking over his shoulder, he looked up to find the other wiping his mouth, and took relish in the way the man looked at him when they finally made contact again. Blue eyes all wild and hungry and unfamiliar to the telepath.

“Please tell me you have lube in here.”

“Top drawer of the nightstand.” And he tried to turn over, but there was a hand on the small of his back, holding him down, and he stayed put as the tube was taken out and a generous amount of lube was poured onto fingers.

It seemed, men were new, but anal was not, which, was a bit of a relief.

Feeling fingers in him was a bit of a break, which was nice, all the excitement from moments ago had his very nearly spilling all over his blanket a little too quick, and the slight nudge against his prostate then and again was just enough to keep him on edge. Erik was surprisingly gentle here, and when he finally was pulling his fingers out the telepath found that he was very ready for something bigger. So, when the lubed head of Eriks dick pressed its way towards his entrance, him hips were already in the air.

Or, at least he thought he was, because halfway in he found himself winded and feeling way too full. Not that he tried to stop it, because the noises the other was making were too sweet, really, and once he finally bottomed out he had settled still in the other man's body.

“ _Charles_ …” His voice was breaking, already on the verge, and just went Charles was starting to get restless the other man's hips snapped forward and the man above him let out a noise as he went too fast all at once. Immediately, the telepath felt himself crumple, but there were hands at his hips, tugging him back up, and his eyes rolled into his head at the other nudged against his prostate. He knew then he was going to be very sore the next day, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as teeth reached down and dug into his shoulder.

The noise was obscene, all smacking of skin on skin and sloppy noises of too much lube and spit across his ass, but it felt good, and he nearly snarled as the other pulled out too suddenly.

Taking this opportunity to turn onto his back, he took in the sight of Erik; very near the edge, squeezing the base of his cock in a trying attempt to not cum all over his partner, and he very well wished he had a camera to snap a photo of it.

Erik growled at the hand reaching out, teasing, to touch the other, and giving him a lascivious grin in response, he lay himself out, legs open in invitation, and took pride in the look he received.

“Don’t look at me like that, you imp.”

“Come here.” And Erik did, leaning down and kissing the man under him, once, before he removed his hand and maneuvered the others legs up around his hips.

This time, when Erik entered, it was slow, and Charles quickly found he liked the other from this angle because his face twisted in the best way and the affection that came with this man was nearly overwhelming when Charles would move his hips a certain way and he could watch just how the other unwound.

The trusts were short and shallow at first, but slowly he went deeper, and the feeling of the strong stomach rubbing up against his cock had a pleasant heat building all too soon. Their kisses got more and more sloppy, and his legs lazily wrapped around his hips as he listened to the sound of their breathing quicken and their moans get more urgent until it all spilled over.

Erik came first, letting out a deep groan and and bucking his hips into the other, and Charles was close behind, the weak feeling of the other rocking ever so slightly taking him over the edge and he was letting out a whine that was all noise and he could feel the other tense as his ass clenched, all too sensitive and pulling out seconds later.

It took ten minutes of them all collapsed on Charles’ bed, just breathing, before either of them said anything. As soon as he lost his high, he was panicking, because, Jesus that was a lot all of a sudden, and he was sure at least half of everyone in the house heard. Not that Erik minded, because those eyes were looking at the telepath with a soft expression that seemed out of place next to the nasty bit mark on the professor's shoulder.

“I love you Charles.” And he was blushing, because that is not what he expected the other man to say, but he had happy little butterflies in his stomach that didn’t suit his filthy appearance.

“I feel like I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.”

“Mmmm…”

The other shifted closer, and feeling the other holding him there made him feel all at ease, he lay there for a long time, before Erik was peeling himself away and smiling down at the telepath in bed.

“Shower.” At he was being tugged on, and Charles really didn’t want to, but he allowed Erik to pull him up and followed him into his bathroom.

* * *

 

Once Charles had fallen asleep, Erik left one kiss against his temple before he was borrowing one of the mans bathrobes and made his way down the hall back to his room. It was late, one in morning, and he knew they’d be up bright and early the next day… But sleepless nights weren’t anything new, and after everything that happened tonight and knowing he would be possibly able to sink his fangs into that monster Shaw he knew it would be pointless to try, even with how spent he felt after his time with Charles.

And, God, that was not how he expected to spend his night, and the mental image of the other man under him nearly had him spinning on his heel and heading back to that bedroom.

He would’ve liked the time to scold himself a bit, the bite on the other man's shoulder had been red and angry when they cleaned it in the shower, but when he entered his bedroom he was met with naked skin and blond hair all neat in his bed.

Raven? What the hell was she doing here?

Neatly walking path her, he spoke an even voice, and ignored the intent in the way that woman was looking at him.

“Go to bed.”

“Come to bed with me.”

And these siblings were suddenly too much, and he wondered now, what in the world could have gotten him in this situation.

“I don’t have time for this, besides…”

“You prefer brunettes?” And there was intent behind that remark, and he felt almost sick as he hair slowly turned into that soft brown that was too-much similar to Charles’.

“... _Besides_ , I prefer the _real_ Raven.” And she looked remarkably shy then, turning that deep blue in his bed, and he thought, if his mind wasn’t so possessed with the crafty telepath in the next room, he might take her up on it.

“Erik…”

“You realize I’m in love with your brother, don’t you?” And she went quiet at that, all bashful and weak in his bed, and he caved, approaching and giving her one coy kiss before pulling away. “Go to bed, Raven, we have to wake up early.” And she was getting up, peeking over at the man and speaking.

“What will you do… Once you kill Shaw?” And he didn’t know what to saw, because he had never really thought that far. “Will you leave here? Leave Char--”

“No. I don’t want to.... But I won’t stay here.” And he didn’t look at her then, felt her apprehension and tried to fight his own building his gut. He knew that was an answer in its own, he knew Charles and him butted heads, and there would be a moment where they had to separate, and it made him sick to his stomach.

There was a hand on his shoulder, and he knew he was being comforted, before the hand retreated and the sound of his door opening and closing made him feel suddenly very alone.

* * *

 

Charles woke later in the night, the hot feeling of a body along his back, and he was surprised when he turned to find Erik there, all redressed in sweatpants and a shirt.

“You came back.” He stated, all half asleep and weak, there was a hand winding around his waist, a nose in the back of his neck, and silence. He could sense the unease, Eriks nerves like prickles against the side of the telepaths mind, it made the situation feel very real again.

The blanket felt too heavy and hot with the other curled around him, but he didn’t move and no matter how hard he tried, no words were able to express how he felt.

So, he said nothing.

When Charles woke up the next morning, he didn't recognize the weight on his back, blue eyes blinked open, and looking over his shoulder. There Erik was, sprawled out against the telepaths back like an oversized cat, at some point the man had fallen asleep, and even the alarm at the man's bedside table didn't seem to wake him.

Clicking off the blaring alarm, he untangled his naked body from the other man's, and looked him over. The man's lashes were all long and the boyish innocence that came with that sleeping face clouded his mind with affection.  Moving away from him then, he ignored the very prominent pain in his arse, he took his time finding a basic outfit and waited until he was fully dressed before nudging the man awake. It took longer than he expected, and he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way the other stretched and the sweatshirt exposed his hips, luckily for Erik, Charles always gave himself extra time in the morning.

“Morning.”

“Mmm, you're wearing clothes.” The man's eyes were heavy and sleepy, but the look he was giving Charles still managed to be dangerous.

“I know. Come on.” And he was offering his hand, which was a mistake, because Erik was tugging him down and kissing him and they did not have the time for it… But he was laughing, and he let himself take comfort in this moment.

” _Erik._ I need to make sure everyone is awake.” But he was smiling regardless, looking down at the man whose face was in his neck.

“They aren't children.”

“Some of them are.” And with an eyeroll, Erik was up. Leaving the telepath on the bed and crossing the room to give a look to their unfinished chess game.

“I’ll be back in twenty minutes, we still need to try on our suits you know.” And he didn’t want to, _God_ , he really didn’t want to get on that damn plane, and just when his heart started racing with anxiety, he ducked out the door, and down the hall.

He really did feel he was the only one feeling this anxiety, because Alex and Sean were already awake when he went to their rooms, all full of energy and Alex with that annoying all-knowing grin that the professor refused to acknowledge. Raven, less so, her greeting was lackluster, but she was still able to force a smile. The only problem now, was, he couldn’t find Hank, though he could easily if need be, and by the time they had all gathered to put on their new suits he was all nerves and hoping, for everyone's sake, the man was working on their plane.  

Gathering all together again, dressed in their suits, he realized just how real the situation was, and the feeling of Eriks hand in his was the only thing pulling him back. There was a mutual exchange of glances, both of them promptly ignoring the squeals of disgust from the teenagers beside them, and giving one strong squeeze to the others hand, he readied himself for a battle.

 

**END OF PART 1**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO, I changed my mind when starting the next chapter, and decided, I'm skipping forward to part two next. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is when Charles starts his drug use, I imagine Logan will be coming in in a couple chapters, but for now this is all Hank and Charles.

**PART 2**

 

The day had gone by in a rush of adrenaline, and now, here he had found himself, back down on the sand. Moments ago, if not for Moria, Charles was certain every man's life on board those ships would’ve be destroyed, and even then, the telepath couldn’t withstand the overwhelming emotion plastered there on the other man's face.

_”Charles.”_

He could still feel the ache in his jaw where he had been punched earlier, and ignoring the tingling pain in his spine he let his eyes look into the others. The cold gaze he had seen when he was prisoner in Shaw's head was gone, here on the sand he was reminded that he _was_ in love with Erik Lehnsherr, and he hated himself for it.

“I’m _so_ sorry.”

There was the sounds of missiles going off in the distance, and reaching out he felt the safety of the men onboard and let himself relax, for just a moment. They couldn’t stay on this beach for long, and he thought that maybe he could talk to Erik, talk him down from whatever it was he was planning, but then Moria was approaching and it was one nightmare after another.

Blue eyes were leaving his face, and the flicker to rage was so quick the telepath barely had enough time to react before the other man was lashing out like a mad dog, hand reaching out and the metal of the woman's dog tag found its way around her throat.

“You. _You did this._ ”

“Erik. Please. She didn’t do this, _you did_.”

And that look was back, those teary eyes all apology and affection, and even with that awful helmet on he could feel the love in the way Eriks fingers traced along his cheeks and over his lips.

“Us turning on each other, it's what they want. I tried to warn you, Charles.” There was a kiss on his forehead, and he felt his strength crumbling, his bottom lip trembling, because he was well aware where this conversation would lead, and it took everything he had to not gather that hand in his. “I want you by my side, protecting everyone, together.” And Erik was crying, hands finding their way into his hair. “ _I love you_.”

_’I love you too’._

“Erik…”

“We want the same thing, that’s why we can’t let them--”

“My friend… I’m sorry, but we do not.”

And then, the other man was gone, his face twisting like Charles was a stranger.  He was put into Moria’s lap, and then Eriks hands were leaving him for all he knew the last time, and in the far distant he could hear the man speaking, all strong and confident in ways Charles could never be, and there was the feeling of Raven and Moria all tears doting over him.

He had told Raven to go with him, ” _You should go with him, it’s what you want_ ,” and he was a damn fool for it.

After he was out of the hospital Charles quickly dedicated himself to his school, taking in nearly everyone and filling as many rooms as he could to distract himself from the hole the absence of Raven and Erik left in his heart. He would always look for them, in cerebro, even though he hated himself for it, and everytime, it was like they didn't even exist. Hank was patient, Alex hovering at his side while he got used to maneuvering without his legs.

Then, the whispers of Erik Lehnsherr killing the president spread, and he didn't bother to look anymore.

Despite everything, he was fine, that was, until two years passed and the war in Vietnam got worse. Suddenly, the halls were getting more and more empty, and when the final student left the professor had started to shut himself up in his room.

But, oddly enough the silence of the house didn't help, his mind would reach too far. There he would lay awake, picking up on a girl walking her dog, a teenager sneaking out of the house down the street, he knew the every detail of Hank's current project, everything was too keen, his power suddenly too strong and his barriers broken.

“Charles? Do you want to eat?” The knock at his door was gentle, and he didn't move from the blanket cocoon he found himself in. The hesitation against the door was like an airhorn against his brain, and then Hank was pushing his way in and he could feel the man there at the foot of his bed.

He was well aware he was acting like a child, but regardless he didn’t move from his spot.

“It’s been three days since you ate.” The man tried, and even still the professor wouldn’t budge, because he was well aware how long it had been since he ate, but even with that he couldn’t gather himself enough to move.

_’Leave me alone, Hank.’_

“Professor…”

“ _Don’t_ call me that!”

There was a long silence then, and there were claws digging into his duvet and a blanket being ripped away.

“Leave me alone, Hank!” And Charles was suddenly aware at how easily it would be to _make_ this man leave him alone, and even considering it made him hate himself.

Hank wanted to, Charles could hear his thoughts banging against mind and the man really wished the other man would just leave him instead of pitying him like a child.

“You _need_ to eat, Charles!”

And see an empty kitchen? Empty halls? _See how much time he’d wasted?_ No thank you.

“ _Please_.”

Blue eyes finally opened, and he would’ve liked to walk away, but he couldn’t now, could he? Erik took that away from him, and the frustration rising in his gut was very well not Hank's fault, but it was still there.

He was sitting then, dragging those useless legs of his up the bed, and he was ready to start yelling, but, he didn’t, because Hank was looking at him with this terribly sad expression, and he let his tense shoulders deflate, for just a moment.

“Alright…” It was spoken like a whisper, and moments later Hank was helping him into his chair, and wheeling him out into the hallway.

* * *

 He couldn’t help but wonder how it would be different, if Erik was here.

Charles hated thinking about him, but nights like these, when he’s sitting and drinking their favorite whiskey he couldn’t help himself.

A couple months ago Hank had relocated Charles downstairs, and his study slowly turned into his new bedroom, clothes and mess scattered until the off days Charles would actually allow him to come in. Tonight, somehow, Hank had managed his way inside, and was picking up old dinner plates and old clothes when the brunette finally spoke from his place on his couch.

“What are you working on, down there, in the basement?”

“How did you--”

And the grin that crossed Charles’ face was all cruel, “I hear everything Hank, you’re using Raven’s DNA, I know that much.” And he took another swig of his whiskey straight from the bottle, and ignored the way Hank looked at him.

“Well… It’s… I was thinking that by using her DNA I might be able to look normal again, you know, it’s hard to go shopping and everything looking like… This.” And the telepath couldn’t help but think the other man looked like a frightened animal, waiting for Charles’ to kick him out, but the minds floating around in his head now were fairly few except for picking up on a miss Peters down the road, preparing dinner for her husband, so his mood was remarkably good.

“And…” Hank started, “I was thinking that maybe I could make something that could help you walk--But I don't know yet, I'm just testing it out… The only thing is professor is… it might numb out some of your powers.”

He could remember Erik, standing beside him in his bedroom and looking down into the fireplace.

” _We have these powers for a reason, Charles. We need to embrace them. Mutants are the next stage in human evolution, you must realize that._ ” And his heart was fluttering like a bird then, watching at the other turned to face in him the firelight, ” _Together, we're going to lead our brothers to freedom._ ”

Little that crap meant now, though.

“Good. They're no good to me now.” He didn't tell him why, he didn't tell him about all the voices in his head, or how he was only half sure they really did exist. And Hank looked hesitant, watching the professor look across his study. “Thank you, Hank. Really.” He gave one little smile, and for a split second he seemed like he did before, but then he took another drink and broke the contact, and Hank took his que and left.

* * *

 

The next couple months were more of the same, Charles would stay up in his study, drinking and keeping to himself. When Hank finally appeared at his door, Charles was still in the same clothes he had been in when Hank saw him four days ago and he nearly scared the pants off the professor when he appeared all button nose and brown hair.

“Jesus, Hank, you look like… Yourself.” Charles bangs were hanging down in his face, and Hank gave a coy smile as he made his way deeper into the room.

“I took it a couple hours ago, it won't permanent, but if you take it in doses…”

“Give it to me.”

“We need to make sure there are no side effects…”

“No thank you, Hank, I've waited long enough.” And he was rolling up his sleeve, sticking out his arm quick.

If this dulled his powers… Even for a little, that’d be enough, just to see if he was really out of his mind.

Hank was easy to pressure, so moments later he was on his knees besides the professor, disinfecting his arm and with hesitant eyes prepping a needle.  

Once he could feel it entering his bloodstream, it was like a rush of cold water. Slowly, his legs started tingling like crazy, and, his mind seemed to be going numb.

For a long time, he didn't say anything, Hank hovering over him like a mother hen until he blinked his eyes open again. Suddenly, it was quiet, blue eyes opening and seeking out Hank, just to be sure he was still here, and it was insane.

He tried to look into the man's mind and there was… Nothing.

In the back of his mind, he could feel his legs twitch to life but the _silence_ was what really took him away.

He couldn't sense anything, at all.

“Oh, Hank, _thank you_.” And blue eyes stayed settled on Hank, grasping his hand for just a moment, before he turned his attention to those legs of his. He wiggled his toes, and it was a slow response, but then they were moving.

* * *

 

He was distantly aware that he had a problem, after he had barged in Hank's lab at three in the morning screaming about the voices coming back, Hank gave him his own supply, and it was the first time he took it himself, when he took _too_ much, and it felt _good_.

His eyes had fluttered closed, and the nice quiet that came with the drug was like a warm blanket, he had curled up on his couch, and for the first time, in over two years, he wasn’t worried about Erik or Raven. He lay there for hours, just existing, and when he finally felt himself coming down from _whatever_ that was, he felt refreshed, he felt great, and that was when his trouble started.

The study quickly turned into the only place he’d be unless he left the mansion. Bars were something of a wonder to him now, remarkably quiet compared to when he used to go due to his powers being a thing of a past, and he quickly used what was left over his charm to pick up women. However, this time it went without talking about the beauty of mutation, because it did a damn good job of reminding him of sharp features and blue eyes that he’d rather not remember.

His hair was nearly at his shoulders, the brown, floral button up he was wearing accentuating his brilliant blue eyes. The hotel he was staying at was only just down the street from the bar, and right now he was looking over a glass of tequila, eying down the busty blonde who had obviously been here longer than him.

“So what brings you to New York?” And it didn’t take any powers to tell she was wasted, but she _was_ trying _very_ hard to hold the conversation, so he gave he credit, besides, she was very cute. Not that he was much better, guzzling down his third drink like water.

“Oh, it’s just business.”

“Oooo, can’t say?” I _love_ stuff like that.” And she was pushing her chest a closer against his arm in their booth, green eyes peeking through long lashes. “Were you born in England?”

“Of course. Born and raised.” And he was lying through his pretty little teeth, but she seemed content to cuddle closer into his side, and it was only another hour of idle chit-chat and two more drinks before they were both stumbling down the street to his hotel, and instead of tugging him straight to bed his eyes lit up as she pulled out a handsome joint. They sat together by the little window for a long time, staring down at the street and blowing out smoke until Charles's head was way past fuzzy and attempting to hold a conversation was nearly impossible.

They were giggling like fools when the former professor was pressing her sweet little body against his mattress. At this point it had already become routine, he’d let her shimmy out of her dress, and he’d do the rest.

He was still inside her when he passed out, and didn't remember when he rolled off, but when he woke up in the afternoon, the young woman was gone and his body still felt all full of lead.

He’d continue this for a while, stumbling back home when he knew it was time for a dose and closing himself up in his room for hours, head knocked back, and it wasn’t for a couple months that Hank figured out what was going on.

“Charles…” And he was watching the professor there, the older man still in his robe and pjs. “I--How did you run out? You should have enough for the week still.”

“I’ve been taking a little extra.” And the telepath seemed agitated then, blue eyes dashing to the side. “It doesn’t work unless I take a little more, that’s all.” And he saw the way the man was looking at him, and he nearly snarled in response.

“Don’t worry about it, alright?! I’m fine, Hank, now just give me the rest.” And he did, the scientist gathering the little vials and ignored how the professor nearly snatched the it out of his hands and stomped out of the room.

* * *

 

Charles hadn’t been getting any better, and Hank found himself filled with self loathing when he’d walk by the ex-professors room and hear him weeping over a bottle of liquor. The mutant had been dazzling when the man had first met him, all charm and sweetness next to Erik. They had appeared to Hank like heros, teaching him how to feel comfortable in his own skin, and he knew he owed Charles everything… But, after the beach, he’d been destroyed. When he had first started drinking the mutant was suddenly shockingly aware of how weak he was. If Erik had been here, he would’ve smacked the professor right out of it, but he wasn’t, Raven and Erik had left, and slowly, once he realized they were never going to come back, over time the mutant found himself resenting them for leaving.

Once all the students were gone, all Hank could do was supply with Charles’ with whatever he could. More than anything, he knew the other man needed strength, someone to rip him out of bed and to make him go out and teach him, that maybe, it wasn’t the end. But, Hank was too weak, he wasn’t strong enough to push past that miserable barrier, so… He did what he could. He had stayed in his lab for weeks when he was working on getting the others legs back, but… It didn’t return the man to who he was, instead, it almost made things worse, and it was in that moment Hank merely gave up.

It had already been months since Hank had taken the sign down, but every now and again a mutant would appear at their door, and, when he heard the knock this afternoon he was actually pleased the brunette was seemingly knocked out cold from the night before.

Peaking out the door, he found a timid young lady all nerves and dark hair done up in a bun.

“Hello. I’ve heard… I’ve heard this is a safe place for people like me to go.” And she looked so frightened, and it _killed_ him to do this. “I-I spoke to the professor a few years ago, and he said--”

“I’m sorry.” And he _was_ sorry, “But…”

“Is this a bad time?”

“We can’t help you anymore.” And he moved to close the door on her then, but there was an insistent little heel in the door.

“Please, the profess--”

“There is no professor here, not anymore.” And Hank was remarkably harsh, those eyes averting away and taking her look of surprise as an opportunity as he close the door in her face.

He couldn’t do much for him, not now… But he could protect him, he owed the professor that much.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude writing this chapter was like pulling teeth, but here you go!

This was insane, Charles was more than well aware that everything he just heard was insane. 

The last thing he had expected when he woke up this morning was to find Hank in a tussle in the middle of the entryway. The brunette who had found his way into his mansion had stunk like smoke and sweat, but regardless, here he was, letting himself believe him… Even just a little bit. 

_ “The Professor I know would never turn his back... on someone who'd lost their path. Especially someone he loved.” _

**_“_ ** _ You know, I think I do remember you now. Yeah... We came to you a long time ago seeking your help. And I'm gonna say to you  _ _ what you said to us then _ _ : Fuck off!” _

That man had a whole lot of nerve, coming into Charles’ home and spouting nonsense, not  _ once _ , had he ever even thought since Erik had been arrested, that he would  _ ever _ get out. He didn't  _ want  _ him out, figured, that's where he belonged… 

And even still, when that perfect stranger came in and started spouting that shit about love Charles couldn’t even do himself a favor and deny it. 

But what? Robots that can adapt to any power and kill? The near extinction of mutants? It was all insane, complete nonsense… But…

What if it wasn’t?

His bedroom was like a portal to his past, and even in the past few years when he started to come back up and started staying home more and more… He hadn’t been able to put away that awful chess set, game still unfinished from the last night Erik had been here, Ravens picture all neat and framed on his bedside table. His past relationships holding onto him like shackles.

Raven? A killer? Never. 

He had stormed up here without much thought, but now that he was here he was folding back his sleeve and grabbing that little syringe that had slowly became his best friend. His arm was already used to the sting, used to the feeling of whatever this was filling his bloodstream, and he let himself just sit there and think for a couple slow minutes, he tried to remind himself of golden hair meeting him at the Oxford gates, thin arms latching onto his side, and he pushed himself to get dressed. When he made eye contact with the unfamiliar man down at the bottom of the steps, he had to swallow his pride when he spoke, because he really  _ did _ want to tell him to get the fuck out. 

“I’ll help you get her. Not for any of your future shite, but for her.”

And this man, Logan, he looked almost content then, if not a little irritated, and the telepath figured for now, that was a step in the right direction. 

* * *

Somehow, he had ended up in his family's nearly untouched jet with this mad man, and it was a good two hour flight to Washington DC, so he let himself get comfortable. The unfamiliar presence at his side nagging the side of his mind.

He had said that he and Erik sent him together… But, that… Was impossible, he was more than aware of who Erik was, the  _ monster _ he was, but if what the other man said was true than…

No, he couldn’t let himself believe it. 

“Listen, professor.” He felt himself snap out of his daze too quick, blue eyes peering up across the aisle to make brief eye contact. 

“I told you, please, don’t call me that.” 

“Fine, Charles then. Listen, I’m not a huge fan of Magneto myself.” The voice was gruff near his ear, and the conversation made his chest tighten. “But I don’t know what the hell it is about you two, but he cares about you.”

“Don’t--”

“I’m not going to try to convince you or any of that shit. Just think about it alright?” 

And he very much didn’t want to, but there was only so much to do in the air like this, so he let his mind wander on how Erik used to look at him and speak to him like he was something magnificent, like he was something he obviously  _ isn't _ and it  _ hurt _ .

For a long time, before his school shut down and the other man had been arrested, Charles did let himself believe there was a chance Erik cared. Anything would’ve been enough, he had wanted to believe that his friend had been good, but after JFK? The arrest? How in the world was he supposed to believe anything like that? 

Not once after Charles lost his legs did he get a visit, and of course he had been bitter. 

Now, here he was, planning on breaking the son of a bitch out with some strange man who had only shown up at his doorstep earlier that day… 

And where was he going? Some random address from the yellow pages? Nonsense.

The fact of the matter was, this Logan character knew a bit too much. About Raven, their powers, and even him and Erik and  _ that  _ in itself was enough of a puzzle for the telepath to get himself on a plan to DC. 

“So who are we looking for, exactly?” 

“He’s got super speed, clever little bastard, too, I figure if we can get him in on this then busting that magnetic jackass out will be a piece of cake. Can I smoke?” 

“No. Honestly, what then? Do you really think Erik will just go along with all this?” 

“With you there? I think it will be easier than you think.”

* * *

Logan was already piss tired by the time they got in the rental car. He had thought it was going to be fucked when he first pulled up and saw the overgrown fountain, and the haphazardly tossed sign at the entrance, but upon entering and finding the man whom he’d grown to admire as some doped up kid… It was definitely worse than he had originally thought. 

If the man had his powers at least, it would sure make things a whole lot easier, he was sure if he could send the nauseating image of the two of them all cuddled up in the future, the professor wouldn’t be such a fucking brat.

He was no damn relationship counselor, this young man was fucking stubborn, and, if this whole mission was counting on Magneto not being an asshole... From what Logan knew, they were as good as dead.

But, he could still see his professor in his mind, all neat in his wheelchair, and looking at the other man now, he couldn’t deny those were the same brilliant blue eyes. He was sure he was quite a mess when he first appeared all wild in the Xavier mansion too, and Logan was anything but the nurturing type, if it was for Charles though, then... 

He'd have it give it his best shot. 

The man would’ve liked how long they lived like that, alone in that big empty house. Looking at Hank now he could see the fatigue in his face, the tired way he hovered around the professor... He couldn’t ask how long they’ve been all alone, not with Charles how he is, and not when they were doing something as important as this. So, there he sat, crammed in the backseat of this dingy little fourdoor and he let himself sit on his thoughts until they pulled up to the house.

* * *

Charles didn’t expect this would be his week, crowded down in some kids basement, talking about something insane like breaking out the most severely guarded prisoners in the US. As they talked over their insane plans, careful to be quiet unless the mother upstairs heard (well, at least they were, Peter less so), slowly, he can to terms with the fact that, his only real use in all this was as a bargaining chip. 

Breaking in had a lot to do with Hank, more to do with Peter, and Logan, was, basically hired muscle.

Logan seemed to have this bogus idea that one look at Charles would have Erik on his knees, that, or he knew how out of options they were, either way, Charles would admit they had a better chance of the mutant going along with this with Charles there... So...

Feelings, if Erik still did have feelings for him, did little in controlling the other mutant. Would he hear them out? Probably. Would he try to prevent something so dire? Certainly… But it was the way he planned on doing such a thing that concerned the ex-professor. 

After all, in some abstract way, they have always had the same goal.

Regardless, having someone as young as Peter at his side felt refreshing, he felt like he could pretend things were back to how they were.

“So, this prisoner, what’d he do?” Peters voice was all too fast, and he bounced his knee across from telepath, peeling back the wrapper of a hoho and speaking around a mouthful. “Must be pretty bad, huh?”

“Secret.” And he smiled despite himself and his messy hair, open button up, and crooked sunglasses. He knew he was a mess, his arm all worn from needle injections, and bags under his eyes from little sleep, but now at least he could pretend he was like he was before. 

Hank shifted at his side from where he was tinkering with their tool, a  _ “basic transmission disruptor”-- _ or whatever Hank had called it-- and he could feel eyes on the side of his face, but he ignored the others gaze, and looked down at messily drawn out plans all done in pencil and line paper. He didn’t think he would be capable of talking, of going back to public and holding a ordinary conversation that wasn’t in the foggy glow of a bar, that wasn’t about sex or dope and was just  _ normal _ . Now, naturally, he realized what they were covering wasn’t exactly something you’d discuss over dinner, but it was a  _ start _ , and he tried not to hyper focus that at the end of tomorrow he’d have Erik within his grasp.

Once everything was all sorted out, they made their way back to the crappy motel down the street, and after checking into their room, they settled on their beds, Logan finding his way over to the little loveseat. 

“You ready for this, Charles?” And the brunette seated on his bed swore he could hear a tint of concern from Logan, if only for a moment, and his only response ended up being a hesitant nod. 

“Ready as I can be, I suppose.” He had said he was doing this for Raven, but, the only way they could possibly  _ find  _ her was with powers Charles hadn’t used for six years, and, honestly speaking, he would have liked to keep it that way… But if what this man said was right, then he had no choice. Protecting Raven was too important, but… For now, he was fine. 

There were two uncertain sets of eyes watching him, and he really had enough, so, without another word he let his eyes roll and his legs carry him into the bathroom for a much needed shower.

* * *

Erik would’ve thought he would get used to the loneliness, the silence, but he couldn’t. Down here, all he would ever find the time to do was wait for the two times daily where he’d be given a meal, count the seconds the door was open, and then, nothing.

He spent a lot of time thinking, about the brotherhood, about Raven, and more than would’ve liked, about Charles. 

Early on he had learned from Emma that Charles had lost his legs, late one night she sent the information to his mind like a whisper. With Raven there, asleep, tucked in his side, he let himself grieve. It had been so easy to try and erase Charles from his mind with everything happening around him, but that was it, two months since he had left Charles he let himself cry, all silent in the dark. 

Once he was in here, however, he had a lot of time to settle his thoughts. 

He meditated a lot, his search for metal a constant hum in the back of his mind, his mind always finding its way back to his best friend, he would sit and imagine and remember for days on end. And, despite everything, he'd talk to Charles. Sitting there in that dungeon he'd reach out his mind and just speak, thinking thoughtlessly to the man who he knew wasn't there, because Erik  _ knew  _ when Charles was in his mind.

Unlike Emma, Charles felt like sunshine, all soft and warm, and the mutant would very much like to think he wasn't being bias, because it had always been that way, even when the magnetic mutant had been fished out of the Atlantic. 

Erik knew Charles wasn't listening, but he'd still talk to him anyways. 

_ ’Do you still think of me now, Charles?’ _ Not that he’d be able to forget, his legs a constant reminder of the man who once was his friend.  _ ’Even now, do you think about me often?’  _

_ ”Erik.” _ Ravens had been so soft then, so soft and vulnerable in the mutants arms, and the man couldn’t help but wonder where she was now.  _ ”Do you regret it? Leaving Charles behind?” _ And, if he did, he certainly hadn't admitted it, but regardless she would ask. 

_ “I did what I had to.”  _ And even when he said it, he couldn’t make himself believe it, and he knew Raven didn’t either.

The click of the door didn’t disrupt him now, there on the floor, so when he felt his lunch at his side and saw scribbles and a note…

‘Mind the glass.’

Blue eyes broke away, face twisting in confusion when he spotted an unfamiliar face all grinning and suddenly, the ceiling was trembling. 


End file.
